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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?